We meet a very grumpy old man who hates Christmas: it’s nothing more than a license for cynical profiteers to fleece people of their hard-earned cash, force them into debt buying a lot of crap they don’t need, and making them miserable for the rest of the year.
It’s a meaningless spend-fest and should be abolished! This is Bob Cratchitt who works in a call centre, owned by Ebenezer Scrooge, who loves Christmas. This call centre collects debts. Scrooge is a very cheerful man indeed. On nderson,david maclennan, juliet cadzow, andy gChristmas Eve, Scrooge is visited by the ghost of Bob Marley, who soon realizes his mistake – sorry, that should be Jacob Marley, Scrooge’s old partner whom Ebenezer bought out at the beginning of the Credit Crunch for next to nothing. Jacob is doomed to walk the earth until Ebenezer gives him a fair price for the share of the business – after all, the debt collection industry is one sector that is booming.
This effectively means eternity since Scrooge will never pay him. Jacob warns Scrooge he will be visited by 3 more ghosts before Christmas morning. The first is the Ghost of Christmas Past, or the Wicked Witch of the South who bears a striking resemblance to Margaret Thatcher, under whose watch Scrooge began to get wealthy. She is accompanied by the Goose that Lays the Golden Eggs.
The second is Aladdin, or the ghost of Christmas Present, who bears a striking resemblance to Gerard Kelly. Aladdin takes Scrooge on his magic carpet, round to the Cratchit’s house, where he observes how poor they are. The third is Prince Charming or the Ghost of Christmas yet to Come who bears a striking resemblance to both David Cameron and Prince Charles and who shows Scrooge how the world will be if he doesn’t change his ways. By the end, Scrooge is a miserable, skint wretch and the Cratchits’ are happy. We will meet several Fairy-Tale characters along the way.